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Episode 106 · 3 months ago

JAWS 3-D (1983) Discussion

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Parth and Trent discuss Jaws 3-D (1983). They also discuss Spy Kids 3D: Game Over a lot.

Edited by Parth Marathe

We are tonight's entertainment. You can't handle the true the fire risals pizza. You're a wizard, Harry. You know you think that's are you're breathing groovy. I don't have friends suits or in a different well, you're not, but I'm in a different locale. But, with that being said, we're closer in locales than we usually are. Your locale is usually further from my locale. I could walk down the street for like ten minutes and then there you would be, just looking at a blank Webcam and you'd be like Bertrinka, and then I would just pop through the door and then we'd both be on the same Webcam for the audience is sake. I've moved back to new brunts, where I go to college, where Trent has been living for the summer, but my apartment building didn't let's move in until August, so and the end of August at that. And that's also why your video quality is different and worse now. But that that is just not beneficial to me, but it doesn't affect the audience at home. No, Um, usually I disconnect my laptop from my monitor because the camera that we got from my monitor is like terrible. It's it's sort of like a fish eye lens and like all of your features, it's not that bad. But no, but it's not your face. Your face is just pressed up close to it to get close to the MIC, and so it just like it looks like your features are destroyed. It's it's it's not flattering, we'll put it that way. But here we are and I'm wondering what you've been eating. Okay, I'm sure as a college student you face this issue like I do, but I was walking home and I was in a time crunch because we had to record a twelve thirty and I was very hungry, and so, both for conversation and for my own health and wellness, I had to eat something. But I've been saying I have to go grocery shopping for like several weeks now, and I'm finally going today. But even when you say like I'm out of groceries, like there's still probably enough stuff there for you to like Scrapp Alee throw something together and it just like won't be particularly coherent. And so I stood outside the Bagel shop by the corner of my house for like five minutes just like looking in one direction, which is my house, and then looking at the Bagel shop and being like which would be faster, which would taste better, which would be cheaper, and weighing all of those things and I ended up coming home making two scrambled eggs, put some everything but the Bagel trader Joe's seasoning, put some ketchup on it, and then I had two pieces of cinnamon raisin toast that I found, or bread that I turned into toast through toasting that I found in the back of the fridge. But even when you've been saying that you have to go grocery shopping, you can find things from past grocery shops that you forgot about. That's a beautiful story and, I think, inspiring too many. What about? I woke up and had to watch jaws three and then realized I'm going to have to have something to eat, because I opted to have lunch after recording. Um, and so I made some maple brown sugar oatmeal, and so I'm running off of that right now, but I'm already a little hungry. Um, and the quality of this movie is apparently of Um great contention. Um. So maybe this will be a short recording, but maybe this will be a long recording. Who knows, you know, because we'll either like claw each other's eyes out, or one of us will just like March, March out of the room, or or we'll have well, or we'll just have to stay here man on man, for like several hours until we can definitively decide if this is a good or terrible movie. It's it's more a question of am I going to get too hungry that I start trying to shut down our recording, or am I going to be too infuriated by your opinions to stop recording? So it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when and what is going to cause you to cut this episode to break. Yeah, yeah, I got it what that said. Should we just cut into this episode so we can get straight to the meat and potatoes? Oh, the meat and the potatoes. You're sounding you're sounding like jaws, the shark, jaws, three d the shark que the intro. It's a shark again for a third time. M H, welcome back to craft services, where we talk...

...about the movies. Each week we talk about a film and hopefully have a crew member of that film to talk with us about their experience working on the picture. But this is different. This is jaws summer. The last two weeks, in this week and next week, talking about the jaws films. We don't have anybody that worked on those. They're too old. I think we're we're starting to get too old for this ship. You know, for this many, this many sharks, they just keep their following us. At this point. There's two sharks in this movie, Trent, and there's two podcast hosts for this podcast. I don't think that's a coincidence. Double The standard amount of sharks, but that is the standard amount of podcast hosts. Because, yeah, you need someone to talk to. Um. Well, I guess maybe you did your pot Solo Pod, but you should do a solo pod. Sometimes it's exhausting and there are the silences feel very long and usually when you're talking I'm thinking about what to say. But when there's your you don't aren't reading the production history, I can't like do my pro my standard pros and cons list. You buy me a lot of time by saying a bunch of words about the film and Life and love and beyond. Well, I'm glad. I'm so hopeful. Um, Trent, is it time to do a ten word synopsis. Sure, I think it's your turn, because last week was same same Brodie, same beach, same problems, new shark. Um, Brodie's kids at sea world. Sea World is one word, right, we could say that. I think, Um, I'll look into it, but you just you keep talking. Bertie's kids at sea world, new sharks. Yes, the world's one word, but the W in world is also capitalized, even though it's one word, which is baffling. But okay, are dealing with it. They deal with it all right. They deal with it in three D um, even though the title card would suggest otherwise, because it just says plainly jaws three, even though the poster very enthusiastically says jaws three D yeah Um. So, as the Internet would describe it, a giant thirty five FT shark becomes trapped in a sea world theme park and it's up to the sons of police chief brody to rescue everyone. Um, the shark and jaws one was this one's thirty five, so that should he should this. This is even better than jaws, the original film. Right, if the metric for how good the film is is how big, theoretically, the shark is, then this is like a third better than the first one. Yeah, Um, you want to give me the budget in box office? Sure, the budget is eighteen million dollars and the box office is eight million, which is not terrible, but like and it costs ten million dollars less than jaws two and made less than half what just two made and less than a fourth of what jaws want made. It seems like they're on a steady decline with their that their return on investment. I wonder how jaws for their revenge is gonna hold up. I was gonna say I think Josh four will really bring everything back up for the jaws franchise. Well that well, I mean clearly the first three they did well enough to justify another one, and the same cannot be said for jaws for the revenge. So something. But maybe it was just such an excellent conclusion that there was just nowhere for the story to go. Yeah, they were just like this just puts a big bow on everything, and we're not in it for the money. We just wanted to tell the brody saga. Um, and once that ARC is complete, why why touch a good thing? Yeah, why? Why keep making movies when, when the story doesn't call for it. Should I go into production history? Sure, I'll make a pros and cons list while you do so. Producers David Brown and Richard Zonook, the producers for the first two films, originally pitched a second jaw sequel as a spoof named Jaws Three Comma people zero. Mattie Simmons, producer of Animal House, was brought on, with Brown and SANEC taking on executive producer roles. Yeah, I really I mean we'll get into my feelings on this movie, but I really wish we got jaws three people zero. To missed opportunity.

And the other thing is because it's a spoof film, if they wanted to do another three jaws three, they probably could and it would have been fine. They still could have jumped. Last week we were complimenting jaws three d just because that is convenient. Um, but jaws three people zero. Wow. And also, I guess already spoils the ending of jaws three, but that kind of if you think about it, it's kind of people three jaws zero, if you think about that entering of every jaws film. I mean, no spoilers. Maybe, maybe in the spoof though, the jaws would win three times. Yeah, I mean, I read a little bit about it in the IMDB Trivia but it said like it opened with, Um, Peter Benchley in his pool getting eaten by a shark and like what, like, where do you go from there? So Maddie Simmons outlined a story and commissioned National Lampoon Writers John Hughes and Todd Carroll for a script. Joe Dante, director of Gremlins, was briefly pursued as a director, but the project was shut down due to conflicts with Universal Studios. I feel like this is an insane movie that like. Imagine a jaws three directed by Joe Dante and written by John Hughes. I was gonna ask, I was gonna ask, is that the John Hughes or is that just as that is that is John Hughes, like writer of home alone, Barry Feelers, stay off, sure, breakfast club. But instead we got director Joe Alvez, who has never directed a film before and will never direct another film after this. Yeah, so maybe we won in the end. I mean, and we didn't really bring this up last week, but Um, the director for draws too, I forget his name. It's Zark or something. Like that. Yeah, I looked at his IMDB because I'm like, what do you do after you direct jaws too? And he directed like one movie before that and then he did jaws too and that was like his big break and then it wasn't good and then he like basically never directed another movie again or like only did only did TV. And I feel like after Spielberg they're like this guy's only done one movie and it worked out great for us, but most people who direct who have only directed one movie aren't Steven Spielberg or will not later become Steven Spielberg. David Brown later said that the studio attitude was that a spoof would have been a mistake and that it would have been like, quote, fouling in your own nest. We should have fouled the nest. It would have been golden, maybe even platinum. So laughing it, laughing at yourself, is awesome. The film was eventually directed by Joe Alvez, the production designer for the first two films and was the second unit director for Jaws Too. It had been suggested that Alvez Co direct the first sequel with verna fields. When for director John D Hancock originally left the project. Richard Matheson, writer of Spielberg Stool, wrote an outline, but the story was ultimately credited to Gwerd and true blood universal force. Mathieson to include Brodie's two sons and wanted the film to have the same shark that was electrocuted in jaws too. Matheson said of the finished film. Quote, I'm a good storyteller and I wrote a good outline and a good script. And if they had done it right and if it had been directed by somebody who knew how to direct, I think it would have been an excellent movie. Josh Three D was the only thing Joe Alvez ever directed. The man is a very skilled production designer, but as a director, no. And the so called Three d just made the film look murky. It had no effect whatsoever. It was a waste of time. So not a fan watching this film in Two d. The Greatest UH challenge was trying to figure out what they thought was in three d without three d glasses, because there were a lot of bad effects, but not all the bad effects for three D, but the really bad ones of just things drifting um and with really hard edges towards towards the screen I. I think that's my best guess. And they were only like four of them, or like four or five little moments that and one time the shark like, you know, breaking the glass. Did you like when Dennis Quaid shot the like thing and it comes straight at the camera? All I could think about was your comment about like Robert Rodriguez movies where like someone drops a pencil and then it like has the three d effect on it for literally no fucking reason. Um. Yeah, so guered and true blood allegedly wrote the script based on his experience of a white shark swimming upstream and becoming trapped in L Lake. Carl Gottlieb, brighter for the first two films, also revised the film script. When casting the film, Roy Scheider declined to reprises. We're all saying quote mustaphiles couldn't talk me into doing it. They knew better than to even ask. Yeah, so, uh, Dennis Quaid said that he was deepest into his cocaine addiction while film Josh Three D and that there is...

...no frame of the movie in which he is not high. So isn't that crazy? I mean you watch that. I knew this going into this movie and it's it's interesting and sometimes you could tell. See I didn't know and therefore I couldn't tell. But if this guy could be buzzing off cocaine for, you know, for ninety whole minutes and me not notice, like maybe my co workers don't realize when I'm high at work, you know, like maybe, maybe, maybe, there's hope for all of us. The film was filmed at Sea World Orlando, a Marine Zoological Park, and Navarre Florida, a community in the Florida panhandle near Penscola or Pensacola. The film was released in Three D as. The technique was becoming more popular at the time and many of the scenes that utilize the technique had to be reshot because of the blue screen compositing that had to happen. I didn't even notice. Alan Parker took over composing responsibilities from John Williams, but retained his shark MONTIEF. Upon release, the film Recei mostly negative reviews from critics, but was a relative financial success, though it made half of what jaws two made. Trent fun facts. Do you think they credited Chamu? I didn't, I didn't stick around, but, like it wouldn't surprise me if they did, I didn't. I didn't stick around either. When the movie started, I was, I always just in my head. I was like, Oh, it takes place in like some theoretical fantasy sea world. But when they actually said sea world and they actually isn't crazy, I was like did they get cooperation or do they just not care? And then to hear that they also like the world. Why would sea world want that? Because this is a movie about how everything goes wrong. It would be like if there were. I was just would be like if there was like a like an amusement park, amusement park like gone wrong and people get stuck on a ride and it's breaking or something. But it's six flags in the movie, in the movie and it's actually six flags, and you're like why would they agree? Like yes, it's good press, but like the optics of what they're saying is possible is that a shark breaks in and a bunch of people die, which I mean it is in Florida, which I'm pretty sure there's no great white sharks there, but in the next one the shark will follow a white woman to the Caribbean from Massachusetts. So anything. Imagine if they brought back the same shark from jaws too, that we saw literally get exploded a few years ago. I mean these this, this is these this is a stupid franchise. Like, I don't care. Isn't it weird? How, like, instead of making a spoof of jaws, they just made like another bad jaws movie that ends up sort of reflectively being a spoof of jaws, but just like, I guess unintentionally, they kind of made one. Yeah, but instead they just took out all of the exciting creative collaborations that we talked about in the production history and they just gave us that. That's like if imagine if on like jaws six, just like this. They're like we got the sound guy from the first one. They're like just anyone who had anything to do with the original. Like, we need your leadership, Trent. You want to hit me with some fun facts? So this is Leah Thompson's feature film debut Um. The Shark is said to be thirty five FT long, despite budgetary restraint keeping the film from providing a true sense of scale for the creature. And this is, as we said, ten FT longer than in any of the previous films. This is the only jaws movie, which is not feature any scenes set on amity island or to be filmed on Martha's vineyard. Um, this is the only entry in the jaws series to feature not one but two great white sharks. Um, a baby and its mother, if we're being technical. And the film made thirteen million and change in its first weekend and it held the record for highest grossing opening for a three day film until spy kids three, game over in two thousand three, which made thirty three million dollars in its opening weekend, which is a crazy sentence, given that it's spike kids three game over. You know, spike is three is good. No, no, no, spike as three is awesome. Um, and Jennifer Jason Lee auditioned for the role that Leah Thompson played. Um, Kelly and Bikowski. And, as we said, this is the only film directed by the director Joe Elvis. I want to do one star reviews. Yeah, I think it's one star reviews. Do you mind if I start? I looked at these ahead of time and I couldn't believe my eyeballs. Yeah, Um, so James Pasquarella comes back for jaws three. Much like jaws, the shark. He keeps coming back, but this time James Pascarrella, likewise, is in three day and his title says profanity. No shock there. Trashy language makes a trashy movie. Stop Watching Ella. Um.

If he wasn't satisfied by the first two draws movies, especially the first one because of the mild language. I mean they're all rated PG, even though, like they say, ship so many times in this movie. Do you think he's gonna Watch the next one? I don't want to drinks us, we've come. So I think he. I think he will. Is he like at the top of the reviews, or do you have to like search long and hard for them? By this point he's always been at the first page. Um. So I guess people are finding him helpful or this is just like this is a fresh wound for him. M M Um. Okay, so the next one says this is why Daniel Soria and it says not even accurate. It says, not even scientifically accurate, sharks don't stay with their mother after birth, which, if that's true, which like that sounds about right. That sounds like a valid complaint. But I mean, of the things in this movie to complain about it not being scientifically accurate. To me it's like the least of this movie's concerns. I don't know if it suggests like it doesn't specifically outline it, but I sort of thought that it was saying that the mother shark came in and then gave birth to the baby shark, in which case then they're both just wandering around in the enclosed space, because they're never seen together. I assure you I did not retain enough of this movie to tell you a proper answer. So there will be no trends. There is no trend. Confused. Part explains part that is also confused. Part is very confused. Angry to explain angry. This movie was interesting. You should spit on the camera lens and I'll feel your disgust in in in Three d okay, there go. Um. Yeah, so this next one is from J J and says very bad. This movie was so bloody my boyfriend and I left the show five minutes tops. The Shark was always a sacking people. The surfer was so bloody. At the end of the movie I went to California to complain to the producer and what I don't understand about this is. There's so much. It's one thing if you see it's one thing if you see jaws and you're like, I don't know what I'm in for. By the point you get to jaws three d you don't know what you're coming for. You don't know that the Sharks gonna be killing people and you're going to California. I don't think so. That's I call bullshit. Wait, my problem. I thought we were going to complain about the same thing, but there are two. There are two sentences. That what's the word? They contradict each other and it's my boyfriend and I left the show five minutes tops. Also, this is a movie, and then it's the surfer was so bloody at the end of the movie. So did you leave at the beginning or did you get to the end? But also, what surfer are they talking about? Are they talking about like the People John's gears? Are The water skiers? Yeah, Um, the shark. It was always attacking people. Yeah, that's what we're here to do. Do you think, like, are people crazy? Is this a crazy person who's just like saying words, or is this a crazy person actually went to California? Like, obviously you're not going to find the producer? Yeah, no, this is just a crazy person. I think this is just a liar. But are they crazy, or are they lying, or are they kidding, or is it some I think some combination, like I think they're being facetious when they say that they left the movie five minutes tops. I mean, given there it's morning about the entirety of the movie, I think it's more so that they would have left the movie. And I don't think they actually went to California, because that sounds ridiculous. Do you want to talk about this movie in Three d? No, I guess so, Trent, do you want to? Do you want to read the texts that I sent you? We did this San these are interspersed with like US figuring out when we're gonna schedule our recording times for pod this semester, so you might have to skip those. But no, I'd happily. I would like it if this became a permanent fixture of to have our our normal sobering lives. Um, public Um. Okay, so you started off by saying Jaws Three D is so weird. Um, and then we negotiated start times, Um, and then, I mean you can just read the text verbatim if you want. I don't mind people schedule. No, of course not. Um, and then I said, and then we got distracted, but then I sent you a picture to show you that I was also currently watching Jaws Three D and it's happen to be a frame of the shark, and I...

...said Jaws has big gums, and then you just said the effects are so awful. Oh, but also earlier, I missed it when you said just plainly, this movie is terrible. Yeah, when you started out by saying that it was interesting. Oh No, you just said it was weird. And this was still when I was early on in the movie and I was really enjoying all the setup, because I'm like, it's like Jurassic Park but with a shark. and Um, they're definitely doing something different, because it felt like jaws two was so much of the same that I definitely appreciated the effort. Um, and I didn't like, this is gonna sound weird, but I almost like the first act or so, when it was mostly like human elements or like just people talking about seaworld. They're like all the set up, I was pretty down with it. And then where they lost me is when people started getting eaten and I'm like, people are here to watch other people get eaten by the shark and it's literally so terrible at showing this big robot shark interact with the human actors. Yeah, it's not pretty, but what I will say is I really liked I think we watched two people get swallowed hole in this film and I liked it when the guy was still alive inside of jaws and then he kind of just like turned into like a like. It seemed like he was unscathed on his way in and then he just blew up with a bunch of blood. But I thought that's how they were going to take out jaws, was to kill him from the inside. They had a man on the inside, but literally I looked at the time stamp and there was like four minutes left and it was before jaws came through the glass and I was like jaws is definitely gonna die and they're definitely gonna have to blow them up. How are they going to shoehorn that? And with like all of a hundred twenty seconds they killed the shark and then froze framed some dolphins, did some spinny tricks and the movie was fucking over unit production designed by you know, or unit unit production manager. Is that who they show first? It's like something weird like that. So, like, riddle me. This the final shop of freeze frame, dolphins on either side framing the central characters, like celebrating in the middle. Do the directors know that that's silly, or are they just like that's how you end a fucking movie? Um, well, I mean it was also the eighties, so like I feel like, you know, this is the time period where rocky four is coming out. So like maybe we're in a point of American excess where people are like fuck, yeah, you know, but it maybe. I know we're gonna drink on next week's episode. Maybe, since it's the eighties, we should have done coke on this week's episode. Okay, yeah, maybe. Well, who knows? What we do? What else we do for the jaws, the revenge you Um, but should I get into my my what's not working? Sure, if that, if that's where it feels, it feels right to start. Um, well, or maybe I'll start with what's working. I I kind of like you when I said that this movie was so weird. I didn't hate it, but all the character interactions felt so I don't know how to explain it, but it's so bizarre. Everyone was too happy. Everyone liked each other a little bit too much, like like the like, what's his fucking name? Main Guy, Um, Mike, Dennis Quaid, Dennis Quaid, yeah, yeah, Um. So I'm so entrenched in the narrative, the character and Jaws Lore. Yeah, the Brody Saga. Yeah, so the Brody Siblings and Mike and his girlfriend are all like hugging and happy and going to a bar and I'm like, this is I don't know, they're too happy. It's unsettling and Um, also, they keep aging these menu so drastically, movie movie, by disproportionate amounts given the amount of time that has passed within the releases of the film. Like, I guess it's okay here because they don't say how long it's been to my knowledge, and so this could be in the future. But he's not like in his young I mean maybe he's meant to be in his early twenties, but he looks like a grown man. He looks like he's in his thirties. Well, I it's implied. I mean he's only like a few years older than his younger brother and he was like did you pass all your exams? And so I was like, okay, so this guy's only a few years out of college, but I was like this is a full grown man. He's so old. But at the same time I was like whatever, this is a meet thing, like this is not like...

I I guess I can't go into jaws three D um hoping for that much other than sharks attacking people and for it to be fun and exciting and engaging. and Um, it's none of those three things. Every effect looks bad, like the one of the things, one of the complaints, or sorry, one of the things that I enjoyed about jaws too was that from a production standpoint, it still looked pretty good. Um, it's not done or it's not directed as skillfully as Spielberg with the first movie, obviously, but it still looks like they're out on the real water. There's still like an air of like this is a real movie. And then you get to this movie and the blue screen is so awful. You can see the Matt Edges everywhere, you can see it's so terrible and like it made me upset because I was like that was the one thing that like. This movie is not that much less expensive than jaws too. The only reason jaws too has such a big production budget is because they started shooting the film then had to shut down the film because they replaced the director, and that's why it cost so much money. So why does this look so bad? This looks like a directive video sequel two jaws too, and for this movie it costs eighteen million dollars. Is Embarrassing. I'm sorry. It's terrible and I understand that they wanted to have three D elements, but they overreached. They shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. It looks so bad to the point where I don't care about these human characters, I don't care about sucking sea world. Fuck Sea world, I don't care about the effects. It's so bad. It made me so more than angry. I was like, this is baffling that this is the movie that they made. Yeah, I think bad. Fling off off the record, was the our our collective consensus. It was the only word that we could use to describe how all the creative choices that were made. You're straight to video. Comment reminds me of a way too specific family guy cut away and they were like something, something, this is like a Disney straight to home video thing. And then it's like a Laddin to jifar needs glasses, um, and then it's him at the optometrists and he goes number one, number two, and then he's like uh, number one. It's a bit blurry, Um, but this is I know Michael Caine is going to be in the next one, um, but isn't it weird to see like actual famous people, I. E. Leah Thompson and Dennis Quaid, in like the third installment of like a bad which is that it feels like a TV movie where like everyone should just be like forgettable faces. But it's weird when, like, I know famous people are in bad movies. Um, but maybe it worked out nicely for them that they then became our dennis quote was the star of the film, but, like Lea Thompson, becoming more famous definitely helps their production value. Oh, another thing I realized while watching the movie the like control rooms that they're in look like like fifties. They look like star Trek sets or something, and I guess Star Trek a pass because that was made in the sixties and was a television show. But this looks so terrible. And you brought up the the shark crashing into the window or into into the theoretically the most impressive three d effect, which says absolutely nothing. It's so bad. I like the fish head that spirals in the opening credits, which I was like, is this supposed to be three d? Like, I can't imagine it's not. Is Otherwise what's the point? Um? It's crazy when you have these shots underwater of things like floating and like, I guess in theaters that would maybe be more like. Okay, I guess I see what you're doing. But my thing with three D is the majority of people will only ever see this in two d. So you can make it work for three D, but it better work in two D because people don't own three D T v S. people won't buy the three D Blue Ray. It's not going to happen and it never really will happen, Um, and this movie suffers incredibly as a result of trying to push three d onto it in the eighties or whenever this came out. When you go to the movie theaters to see her a three d movie, are they giving you like the red and blue glasses, or is it like they're giving you disposable glasses? Yet? But it's not like I feel like I would maybe just for the Gimmick and now I feel like it's so boring when they just give you like a black pair of of of unmarked sunglasses...

...that just like get that give you a headache more than anything. I haven't purposely seen a three d movie in a long time because, Um, it like hurts my eyes and I'll spend half the time with the glasses off just looking at the blurry screen. I never had a problem like headache wise with three D, but I've never liked it, never truly liked it, for two reasons. One is that there's a lot of light loss, like it's much dimmer, and then the second reason is that I don't like the idea that like the movie. I don't like. I'm always aware that, like there's frames around me and like, I guess because I don't wear glasses, maybe that's a thing. Like I just if you wore glasses, if you wore glasses, then that would be less of a thing for you. When you are glasses glasses, do you double up? Do you put the Three d glasses over your real glasses, because otherwise I guess you must well. Actually, yes, I know this because varage has glasses and when he goes to three D movies, has to put them over it Um and that just it's I don't know that. The problem I have with three D is that it's not it's it's an obstruction, it's something stopping you from getting to the movie, and to me that the whole point of three d is to be immersive and so like. That makes sense in Vr when you put a Vr headset on, but like then everything in your field of view is the VR world. But with three D it's not really immersive. If there's a I don't know. It just doesn't. It never makes sense to me. I either want standard movie, No gimmicks, or I want like the Disney world, like four D experience Lee loan stitch ride, where I can like feel things like running across my feet and then they're like smells being pushed into the air and like. Have you ever seen a movie D x? No, but I I heard. I want to. I I heard friend of the show on I have the duck your companion podcast talk about seeing baby driver and for d x or whatever, and that just smelt like burnt rubber and that he was just getting thrown around in his chair. and Um, I thought that would that what is a good movie, where you're like not gonna get hurt or you're gonna get flattering smells sent in your direction. Yeah, do you remember spy kids four with the scratch and sniff? Um, isn't spike kids for the one with different kids? Yeah, but I think the girl shows up first. Three. Yeah, not Juny. Um, no, but that sounds like they couldn't afford Juny. That sounds like. Yeah, no, junie's Day day rate was too high. Um, Junie had a heart out. Um, but I like the Gimmick of a scratch and sniff. Did Robert Rodriguez? I didn't have anything to do with that. Yeah, I'm sure he did. I mean that's how the movie was released, because it was in four D, with the fourth dimension being smelled, I guess. So are they just handing you a card, but like when or how are they indicating? As I remember, you were given Um, were you a part of that? No, no, no, no, well, my friends went, but I didn't go because I thought it was stupid. I didn't like that. They didn't have the original kids for the first three movies. Yeah, but like, how are they indicating on screen that it's time for you to scratch whatever idea is? I remember watching spy kids or no sharp boined love girl the DVD. The movie would like pause and it would be like now put on your three d glasses and then they would like go into the dream world, but it would be like pretty abrupt and Abrasive to do that like at a movie theater. I guess I have no idea how they would do it without either spoiling the movie on your scratching stiff card, like when this happens, scratch here. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe there's like an object on screen and it's like the the thing you would be scratching off was that object? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. If about Spike K it's for no. No, it's crazy how how intertwined the jaws three D and the jaws three game or and the spy kids three game over conversations are. That could be like our special that could be our special episode. Yeah, if we ever need to fill a week somewhere, wait. Can I say something positive about the movie? If you must, I think. I've never been to sea world and it's probably an exploitative institution, but there is a surprising amount um of real animals doing cool stuff. Um, and I'm sure Shammou is a nice guy, but...

Sham Shammoo makes an appearance. There's a bunch of dolphins doing spins and then like underwater. I'm like, Huh, you're actually like seeing like fish and wildlife, like, probably to a unrealistic point, because I doubt the coral reeves are as healthy that healthy in Florida. Um. But I was like you're seeing some cool ocean critters, which can't really be said for the first too, because they have the first one is too much going for it and then the second one is all robot shark and this one like shows. I mean maybe they maybe it's because the ninety minute runtime or just they knew that the shark looked like garbage, but I feel like collectively, the shark is on screen for like seconds. I mean it's shocking how like incompetently this is handled there. There I during my jaws to research, there was a youtube video and it was five minutes long and it was every shot of the shark from jaws to and so I even by that metric there's like several times more shark and jaws too, than there isn't jaws three d but at least like you get to see in three D. it's like magnified, so it's like you can like multiply it and there's two sharks. So, you know, just do the math. Do the math, and at least we got the dolphin freeze frame at the end and you know, I think that counts for a lot. I know it's not a shark, but something more. You know, I wanted the well, I wanted the dolphins to be more involved. I wanted them to be a part of the way. Yes, that's what like. It feels like Chekov's gun, like it feels like you set these animals up and that and like, obviously they're dolphins, but like, I don't know, I feel like you said that they have set them up to be a part of it. I wanted the big triumph at the end to be the dolphins are smarter than the sharks. We teamed up with them and we defeated the big evil. The mammals defeated the fishes. You made a promise to a dolphin. I look at that, but instead it's a Chekhov's gun in the way that I mean every jaws movie does this, and I even read it in the Trivia where they're like every jaws movie casually establishes the way that the shark will eventually be killed, and it does it less and less subtly each time. But this time they're just like, hey, you can't bring grenades into the shark tank, and then at the end someone with a grenade gets eaten Um, and then his like full body is just like sitting there and then, uh, you know, I don't know if grenades work underwater. I'm sure that's like the least of our problems here. Yeah, Waituh, I did, like when they were holding onto the dolphin fins and they were getting chased by the shark. Yeah, Um, and in the research it said that one of the dolphins who played one of the Dolphin characters still alive and you can visit it in the world and do all of the stuff here, like hold onto its fin and have to carry you around. Yeah, that's didn't they showed a lot of shots of like jaws, but like from its tail. Did you notice that? Yes, weird I mean, I just I don't have much to say. I just feel like this is like a like I think I'm a little bit more vitriolic towards it than is necessary, but I think the drop off in quality of just like competency from jaws, even jaws too, to jaws three, is so drastic just for the sake of saying words. So this isn't one of our shortest episodes to date. It's not that Short. Uh. Friend of the show, join sick foos. I watch it with her this morning and she told me something that I didn't remember about myself, and she's said, freshman year. Do you know the game that they play in this like at the bar, called like standoff or whatever? They try to push each other over? She was like freshman year. Well, we started watching the movie and she was like I haven't seen this, but at like my cousin's Beach House or something, we used to watch this and it's all coming back to me now. And then she was like freshman year. I tried to explain the standoff game to you and she was like it's in jaws and I was like, I've seen jaws and they're not playing this game in it. And we just came to a standoff. But um now I mean like I don't know if it's Francis Ford Coppola or maybe the person who wrote the Godfather, but I know someone has a quote about that. Even if you're making a movie, you should teach the audience how to do something during it, and it's nice. So in the godfather they like teach you how to make pasta sauce or whatever, and so in this they teach you about shark safety and how...

...to play a fun bar game which is basically just like push each other over, in which case I'm not sure how a small person like Leah Thompson ever defeats a big man. I was wondering what the logistics of this game we're going to be that she could in any way push this man over. Trent is. Trent is putting up his hands and putting him back back and forth to simulate playing the game stand up. Yeah, is there anything else to say? Where do we go from here? I'm kind of impressed that we've gotten this far and that you have jaws the revenge. I'm surprised you haven't keeled over from your hunger or boredom or anger so far I'm feeling, and that's you know what, I'm probably really angry right now, pop partially because of my hunger. Go eat his snickers and then you'll come back and change, man and you'll be much more enthusiastic about the film. You're not, and you're hungry, you know. And, yeah, and sequels in general. Um, should we enter the gauntlet? I think it's I think it's time the ratings gauntlet. Ratings. Yeah, I think it's wait, there's a bright white outside the window. Oh No, it's getting kind of I skinned. It's bad. Help me, help, wow, we're in the ratings gauntlet. Now there's a shark in the nuclear bomb. Don't worry, the dolphins are here. Do you know in jaws too, when it's like the sailboat scene and she's just and the girls like swip faster, ready, swimp faster, and she she just keeps screaming swim, and it's like nothing gets you out of a shark attack like someone screaming shark, Shark, sweat faster, I guess in her defense, what else are you gonna do? No, no, I understand, but it's just like, from a screenplay standpoint, it's like they really just wrote a bunch of times. Swim faster. There's a shark in a movie about sharks. Only so many times can someone say there's a shark, because after three movies of sharks coming you can you start to expect the shark. But in this movie they're like there's two sharks and they've been here the whole time. And if both the sharks have been here the whole time, who's flying the plant? All right, who goes first? You, you, you, you're you're more acidic than I am right now. Um, I would not rewatch this movie. I don't think ever again in your lifetime or just you're I don't think. I don't think there's a time that I'm rewatching this unless you for some reason put it on. I don't think anybody in my life is particularly a rabid fan of jaws. Three D I can't even say what I said for jaws too. What I said for jaws too was like yeah, you know, the story gets a little slow, you get lost in the second act. There's a little bit of melodrama, but at least like the kills, like if you're if you're drunk or it's late at night, you'll enjoy the kills. Oh, another thing that I guess I didn't bring up. The Shark is kind of like Michael Myers mask in Halloween and that it looks great in the first movie and then each subsequent release has a worse looking shark. Well, I guess Halloween two has like the same mask, but I just feel like he looks less cool. Yes, and it's like it's so simple and all you have to do is copy yourself, and yet it gets significantly worse each time, even though you have like so much reference to try to make, because if you just made it exactly the same, everyone would be happy. But Um no, I don't think I'm rewatching this anytime. I would only recommend this if you are doing what we are doing in going through with the JAW's philography. Otherwise, I don't think it's a particularly necessary film to watch. Like a three out of ten. If if we were gonna do a real special episode, I feel like, uh, Spike kids three. Spike kids three wouldn't be that applicable, but what would be would be the meg because I feel like that's down. Wow, both of those are like so mediocre that I can't decide which one I would rather do. Mean neither. It's almost like, like I know this sound gate keepee, but like why is...

...anyone trying to make a shark movie? Like if you have a really good example, you're just gonna be worse jaws. Um. And Yeah, like I understand that it's kind of funny that Spielberg kind of cornered the shark and dinosaur, dinosaur, yeah, and that and and like friendly aliens, and that if anyone tries to do it they'll just be accused of doing it less good than Steve. I feel like back to the future has done that for time travel, where you're like how is this? Yes, yes, and no, and that, like I've there's plenty of other time travel movies that I can name that aren't like they aren't necessarily tied to Um. Like I don't know that you would like. I guess tennant isn't really a time travel movie, but like that's kind of a time travel movie and like that's not really like aft to the future. But like sharks and dinosaurs are things that you would think like that's made for the movies and they were never properly tackled until Steve does it. And since Steve Does it. Nobody's done it better, not even Steve. He couldn't even make a better Jurassic Park movie. It's the fact that he made that first and he made it best. That just like the ICONOGRAPHY. Um, like it's like if any logical person was brainstorming for a shark movie, they'd be like, okay, so we've got some shark P O v, you got uh with some underwater stuff like X, Y and Z, like they did all of them perfectly so that you would have to think so far outside the box to make a shark movie that isn't like directly copying it. All Right, give me your gauntlet. I'm so little damaged from the nuclear bomb. So just kids, so don't me. Do I look different? Is My face like? Am I just a skill now cuter? I don't know how to explain it, but now that my skin has been disintegrated and I'm just a pile of just flesh bone? Yeah, Um, I I will say about halfway through the movie, like before, there was too much shark. I was like pretty convinced that I was going to walk away being pleasantly surprised and that I was going to think that this was better and more interesting than jaws too, and by the end of the film, I don't know if that can be said. Let me just say it had me for a second, Um, and I really am surprisingly down with like most of the human interaction and they lose me with the shark and it was weird, and it should be. They're so weird. It should be the other way. I should be down for all the shark stuff and I should be board during the human stuff. But now, Um. So, with that being said, would I recommend it? Not Really. Would I rewatch it? Um, like maybe if it was on TV, on the TV God, I would hit on it for like a minute, but I'm definitely never like starting it from the beginning again without a proper pair of three d glasses and my reading. What did I give Jos too? Like a six, five point five, I believe. Okay. So, with that being said, that seems low now compared to how I feel about this, and so maybe retroactively, I respect that more. And I'm gonna give this like a four and a half because I didn't hate myself at all, but by the end I was. I couldn't live in my fantasy world that this wasn't a bad movie. Well, I guess that closes out Jaws Three D hm. But next week is going to be the end of summer chaos. Yeah, the end of summer antics. It's gonna be jaws, the revenge, the finale to jaws summer Um. And you can go listen to this eup. Well, that episode next week and any of our episodes on Apple podcasts, spotify, stitcher, Pandora, wherever you get your podcasts, were there. If you're if you're going through the trouble of listening, you might as well give us a good five star review or write a review. That would be super cool. Tell your friends about the show. That would be nice. Um, and next week, if you haven't heard, something is going to be different about parts and I oh, yeah, we're we're gonna BE IMPAIRED, we're gonna be drinking on pod, drunk on...

...pod. It's gonna go because we have to schedule that. No, maybe we'll get so drunk that there will be major technical difficulties and it will become like the lost episode. Yeah, that'd be remember when we recorded like the first twenty minutes of our promising young woman intro and then I was like it wasn't recording and then we had to try to recreate that conversation verbatim. That that was intense. That would be like actual torture to to get drunk twice like getting drunk once for jaws. The revenge sounds like heaven, but twice sounds like hell. Well, anyways, go follow us on instagram and twitter and yeah, we'll see you guys next week. Yep, and beyond jaws summer we'll talk about movies that don't and we've got we've got some exciting things coming up after jaws. Once we're done talking about sharks, we'll talk about other stuff that I can't wait to ring up. So see us soon. I guess there's a shark. A Shark, you say,.

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